The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

In previous installments I’ve written about how the Adversity Curve works and I’ve shared real-life stories of people successfully overcoming Adversity.  I now want to connect the concept of Adversity to the end of the calendar year.

Successfully facing Adversity highlights a major theme that connects perfectly to this time of year.  This theme is reflection – considering the important things that have happened to you and what they mean.

Reflection

Events are simply events.  They have no intrinsic meaning. They are neutral.  The fact that we apply meaning to them is part of what being human is all about.  No other species (as far as we know) has constructed organized religions, entertainment industries, or fields of psychology, all mechanisms for interpreting why things happen and what they mean.  We are meaning-making machines.  Even if we want to stop doing this, we can’t.  We can, however, chose to interpret what all these events mean in a way that’s healthy and constructive.

If you’re like most people, 2012 contained a handful of events that went well and a collection of events that didn’t go well.  Some of these events may have even been awful.  And while some of them might appear as bad – and may in fact be bad in many ways – there are always opportunities to learn and improve as a result.

For example, you may have missed hitting an important business goal.  The inability to meet this goal may be disappointing and may have cost you something important.  Yet missing this goal may have much to teach you as well.  Perhaps the goal wasn’t very meaningful to you in the first place?  Next year you can set more meaningful goals.  Perhaps you didn’t take this goal seriously enough?  Next year you can ensure that you approach goal attainment with greater awareness.  Perhaps the goal led you realize that you were focusing on the wrong things with your business?  Next year you can realign your business in an appropriate manner.

It comes down to a matter of framing… or reframing as the case may be.  We may not be able to control the events in our life, but we can control how we view and respond to them.

So, as you’re winding the year down, think of a goal that you didn’t achieve or struggled with throughout the year.

- Why did you struggle in relation to this goal?

- What can you learn from the Adversity that it caused you?

- How can you approach goal-setting differently next year?

None of us likes to experience Adversity.  Facing let downs, disappointments, and loss can be extremely disheartening.  Yet the truth is that Adversities have more teach us than just about any other aspect of life.  Our challenges strengthen us by testing our limits and demanding more of us.  We experience clarity when we struggle.  We develop resilience when we stumble.  We gain new skills when we overcome an obstacle.

As odd as it may sound, your most disappointing missed goal this year may be your most rewarding gift this holiday season.

– David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

My goal throughout this series has been to explain how people can make constructive use out of the difficult and inevitable Adversities that they face.  I’ve provided understanding, context, and framework.  Following up on my previous post, I want to share another individual story of a colleague who encountered an unexpected, difficult Adversity that ended up changing the course of his professional life for the better.

The following is an excerpt of an interview conducted with Ben, a high-end financial advisor.  The story contents have been abbreviated and modified to fit the format of a blog posting.

David: Ben, tell me about a significant professional Adversity that you’ve faced in the last 5 – 15 years.

Ben: I found myself struggling in my career.  My results were mediocre.  It felt as though I was going nowhere fast.  And to make matters worse, I felt I was on the same path as my father, who had wound up being a selfish person and having a disappointing career.  Although I could see the problem unfolding, I felt powerless to change it.

David: How did you face this challenging situation?

Ben: First, I decided to face up to my situation.  Instead of living in denial about where I was going, I chose to accept the image I saw in the mirror.  I was taking the path of least resistance, and I didn’t like it.  Second, I decided to seek out help.  I couldn’t go it alone.  I hired a coach and began delineating the two paths that I could potentially go down.  My coach then helped me choose the path in alignment with my preferred future.

David: What did you determine was truly at stake?

Ben: Well, my life was at stake.  I’d chosen a career that would allow me to impact positively the lives of others and be rewarded handsomely in the process.  I was doing neither.  I could end up with a legacy like my father’s, or I could build the legacy of my choosing.

David: What new skill or ability did you have to acquire or put into motion?

Ben: I had to develop a couple of different abilities.  First, I had to increase my self-awareness.  I was on autopilot for much of my life.  Moment-to-moment, things invariably seemed okay.  But when I stepped back and gained a wider perspective, I wasn’t showing up the way that I want to.  Second, I had to trust myself to go after what I wanted with intensity and passion.  I was holding back out of fear and uncertainty, and that approach wasn’t going to work.

David: How did you take positive action on your own behalf?

Ben: A few ways.  First, I began journaling.  Nearly everyday I would capture my thoughts – good, bad, and ugly – so that I could see what story I was telling myself.  It wasn’t pretty.  Second, I developed a plan for how to move forward in my career.  I had to take some significant financial and relationship risks.  I had to invest in my business.  I had to engage in courageous conversations with my clients.  Third, I had to make conscious decisions.  I kept asking myself, “Is this decision in alignment with the results that I want?”

David: What have been your results since you faced this Adversity head on?

Ben: Ironically, my relationship with my father has improved.  Choosing to be my own person has changed the way I look at him.  It’s allowed me to accept him more fully for who he is.  On a business level, my results have improved.  I’m now running toward something rather than away from something.  I’m growing and enjoying what I do.

David: Were there any gifts that you received from coping with this Adversity?

Ben: Yes.  I’ve come into my own.  I’m more mature.  I feel more confident and clear about the future.  I also feel like a stronger leader in my personal life.  Also, as much as I avoided and resented this Adversity, it helped me find the ways in which I could become better at what I do.  I found my strength and developed resilience.

I hope this Adversity interview has been helpful.  I will publish more of them in the future.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

My goal throughout this series has been to explain how people can make constructive use out of the difficult and inevitable Adversities that they face.  I’ve provided understanding, context, and framework.  I now want to share an individual story of a colleague who encountered an unexpected, painful Adversity that ended up changing the course of his professional life for the better.

The following is an excerpt of an interview conducted with Frank, the owner of a consumer-goods company.  The story contents have been abbreviated and modified to fit the format of a blog posting.

David: Frank, tell me about a significant professional Adversity that you’ve faced in the last 5 – 15 years.

Frank: I decided to enter into a joint-venture relationship with an overseas company.  They decided to build a plant in the US and I agreed to partner with them on the project.  We both concluded that opening a plant in the US would decreased production costs and transportation times.  When the project was 70% complete my overseas partner ran out of funding and aborted the whole thing.  They left me “holding the bag” financially.  I was left with an overwhelming financial burden, angry investors (some of whom were family and friends), and a company in disarray.

David: How did you face this challenging situation?

Frank: First, I had an internal choice to make: Was I going to let this issue tear me apart or was I going to work through it?  I chose to roll up my sleeves and work through it, despite the pain, guilt, and confusion.  Second, I determined that I didn’t have enough expertise to take on this issue by myself.  I had to ask for help, even though I didn’t want to do so.  Finally, I had to make some difficult choices.  I had to cut my losses, which included taking a personal financial hit and trimming business expenses.  I developed a plan and worked through it.

David: What did you determine was truly at stake?

Frank: Everything that I had built as a professional was at stake.  If I didn’t handle this situation the right way, I might have lost everything that I had built, including my company.  It felt like a sink-or-swim moment.

David: What new skill or ability did you have to acquire or put into motion?

Frank: I had to gain financial and legal perspectives that I never had before.  I had to learn and seek out expertise in a way that I never had in the past.  And beyond that, I had to learn to accept that some things are simply outside of my control.  I had to accept that I couldn’t turn the clock back and make a different decision.  Things just turned out this way – I could let the situation ruin me or I could move on with my life.

David: How did you take positive action on your own behalf?

Frank: I determined what I could control and what I couldn’t.  I got help with the areas that I could control and I let go of the rest.  It was extremely hard to do.  I did the best I could to address the situation and got on with my life.

David: What have been your results since you faced this Adversity head on?

Frank: Many positive things happened as a result of my experience with this situation.  First, I determined what business I was in and what business I wasn’t in.  I decided to stick to my core competencies and do them very well.  This paid off handsomely as I was able to focus my efforts on what I was good at.  Second, this situation forced me to make contact with others in my industry.  As a result I gained a number of powerful relationship.  To this day my largest vendor came from these efforts.  I was also able to establish some strategic partners whom I had previously thought of as mere competitors.

David: Were there any gifts that you received from coping with this Adversity?

Frank: Yes.  1) I learned to do what I do well.  I got out of the businesses that were too risky and misaligned with my capabilities.  I redoubled my efforts at improving what I already did well.  2) I learned to allow others to help me.  I got expertise from others in critical ways.  I bonded strongly with my family and close friends.  I found out how much support was actually out there.  I didn’t have to go it alone.

I hope this Adversity interview has been helpful.  I will publish more of them in the future.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

Over the course of the last 12 articles, I have shared my unique approach to overcoming Adversity.  I firmly believe that Adversity can be a helpful force in developing as a person.  Adversity, while sometimes challenging and painful, presents people with clear opportunities to learn and grow.  In fact, sometimes Adversity can be viewed as a gift.

Last article I wrote about the three traps people typically get into when dealing with Adversity.  They are Ignoring, Spinning, and Reacting.  This article will focus on the gains from successfully overcoming Adversity.

Not all Adversities are the same and not all Adversities come into our lives the same way.  Many Adversities arrive intentionally.  People start businesses and face many challenges along the way.  Other Adversities show up without warning or desire.  Economic conditions change forcing some people to take on difficult issues.  Yet other Adversities enter into people’s lives that are horrific and unwanted.  People sometimes have to cope with tragedy.

So the way that people get through these Adversities and the gains that they make may be different.  There is not right or wrong when it comes to benefiting from Adversity.

Through my research and professional experience, I’ve identified three main gains from overcoming Adversity.

• - Ending unnecessary suffering
• - Increasing functionality
• - Identifying purpose

Unnecessary suffering.  Suffering is a loaded term for many people.  It tends to draw out strong reactions.  Some people consider suffering a monstrous condition to be avoided at all costs.  Others see it as a crucial experience that everyone needs to go through.  My belief is more nuanced.  I take my belief as well as some of my language on the topic from Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning.  Frankl believes that there exists necessary suffering and unnecessary suffering.  Necessary suffering is a condition we find ourselves in from time to time.  This condition is either important to experience or something that we can’t avoid.  We therefore can suffer through it heroically, maintaining our dignity and choosing our attitude.  Unnecessary suffering, then, is a condition that is avoidable.  We can choose to end it through our actions.  Frankl considers unnecessary suffering masochistic.  As logical as it sounds to end unnecessary suffering through some sort of deliberate action, I’m constantly amazed at how many people simply don’t.  I have worked with dozens and dozens of clients who unnecessarily suffer through avoidable problems in their business.  I know many people who suffer through awful preventable ordeals in the personal life.

Functionality.  This is a basic and straightforward concept.  Many people find that when they overcome Adversity, they begin functioning at a higher level.  What they can think, say, and do improves.  Unresolved or poorly handled Adversity weighs on people.  It can often feel like a 50-pound weight being carried around the neck.  Overcoming it adds a spring to the step and a lightness to the mood.  I’ve seen in my work that when my clients overcome Adversities – even ones completely disconnected from their business – they perform better at work.  Their attitude is brighter, personality more engaging, and action more swift.  The old metaphor about “weeding the garden” comes to mind.

Purpose.  This is the rarest and perhaps most powerful gain associated with overcoming Adversity.  As I wrote in article number eight, many people come to their life purpose by way of Adversity.  Either through the depth or sheer intensity of the experience, they decide that they have a new direction for their life.  They decide to do something meaningful and profound as a result of what they’ve gone through.  I’ve referenced Joseph Campbell’s concept of the Hero’s Journey numerous times in these pieces.  Campbell didn’t create the story about the Hero’s Journey, he merely codified it by comparing all the cultures in the world relative to the subject of significance.  He found that those who chose and alternate path and decided to make a major difference went through nearly identical steps, even if the local cultures described them differently.  The road of trials – his language for Adversity – shows up in every culture.  It’s a rite of passage for those who want to accomplish great things.  It’s why I call Adversity “your gateway to greatness.”

So stop and consider your own situation.  What is an Adversity that you could benefit from overcoming?  How would this benefit you?  Would it end unnecessary suffering?  Could it make you more functional and effective in your life?  Might overcoming it thrust you forward in the direction of your life’s purpose?

More on Adversity in the coming weeks.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

Over the course of the last 11 articles, I have shared my unique approach to overcoming Adversity.  I firmly believe that Adversity can be a helpful force in developing as a person.  Adversity, while sometimes challenging and painful, presents people with clear opportunities to learn and grow.  In fact, sometimes Adversity can be viewed as a gift.

Many of my clients report that they learned the most in their careers from Adversities.  These individuals have been tested by Adversity, and it’s these tests that bring out their best qualities as they’re forced to learn new skills or take risks that they wouldn’t otherwise.

Yet this is not always true for everyone.

I’m also fully aware that many people get stuck in Adversity, or worse, they get set back by it.  Sometimes Adversity doesn’t bring out people’s best talents.  In some cases people become mired in unhelpful, unproductive patterns with no benefit.  There’s clearly no guarantee that people will constructively overcome Adversity.

In my time working as a trainer, coach, and consultant, I’ve observed three main ways in which people get stuck or set back by Adversity.

1. Ignoring
2. Spinning
3. Reacting

Let me explain each one.

Ignoring.  The first stage of my framework is Pause.  This is because many people deny that the Adversity is happening at all.  As I’ve mentioned before, denial is an important and powerful coping mechanism in the human psyche.  Denying that a massive Adversity is happening might be an appropriate first step in working through it.  Some issues are too big and too awful to accept all at once.  However, I’ve seen dozens of people deny critical Adversities occurring in their lives that need attention, and the size, scope, and seriousness of the issues doesn’t seem to necessarily matter.  I’ve seen dozens of people look right at a problem and ignore it, even if that problem includes the failure of their business or financial doom.

Spinning.  Some people acknowledge an Adversity and begin address it.  They see that it’s there and attempt to understand it.  The problem is, they get caught in the Reflect stage.  Rather than understanding the situation to the best of their ability and taking action, they go through endless cycles of deep analysis.  They consider larger issues such as macroeconomic factors or broad social trends.  They “complexify” the situation beyond necessity and to the point of inaction.  Often this trap occurs because people simply don’t want to take the action that they know they must.  They hide out in their head.

Reacting.  This response is the essentially the opposite of Spinning.  People see the Adversity and choose to deal with it, yet they do so without any real understanding of what they’re facing.  People often call this tendency, “Ready, fire, aim!”  While action is an important part of overcoming an Adversity, thoughtless action often delays the resolution of the issue or even makes it worse.  I’ve seen people figure out that something they’re doing is causing an Adversity in their business, and, shockingly, their solution is to just do the same thing with more intensity.  Fear often causes people to engage in reflexive reactions that make no logical sense.

The way out of these three traps is to follow all four steps of the Adversity Curve.  Take the time to PAUSE.  Take the time to REFLECT on what it means.  Allow time for INSIGHT into what you need to learn or change.  And finally ACT on these new learnings.  Following all four stages positions you to gain the greatest benefit from facing and overcoming your Adversity.

The next article looks at the three gains from successfully overcoming Adversity.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

My last article introduced the final stage of the Adversity Curve: ACT.  It described how important and relevant action is to facing and overcoming Adversity.  Many of us spend ample amounts of time understanding and analyzing our situation without taking the courageous step of acting.  Acting without thinking is ill-advised; yet, thinking without acting is just as problematic.  We can’t just stare right at a challenge and hope it resolves itself.  Courage – specifically Larry Wilson’s concept of Playing to Win – provides the fuel necessary to master this stage.

In this article, I’d like to provide some basic, accessible tools for managing this part of the process.  The ACT stage is where a person puts together all the awareness, learning, and perspective from previous stages and does something useful.  This is the time to step forward and step out of routine.

In each stage, a person must contend with three things: a Key Question, a Key Choice, and a Key Blocker.

The Key Question: How can I take positive action on my own behalf?

This question is worded precisely.  It does not suggest any action for any reason.  Some people, especially when presented with a difficult circumstance, will jump to action that doesn’t help address the challenge.  Some folks will even do things that unwittingly make the problem worse.  This question, rather, suggests that we do something helpful in a way that directly benefits us.  For example, a salesperson may discover that his business is in crisis because he’s not effectively finding good prospects.  He then reflects on the fact that he’s not calling on the right people and learns that his lack of confidence stops him from doing so.  So now, in this time of action, he needs to commit to identifying and contacting people in a better marketplace.  The more specific the positive action the better.

The Key Choice: I will either act courageously or I will play it safe.

At the core of all of our actions is this simple choice.  We are all presented with the opportunity to act courageously.  Depending on what books you’ve been reading, you may call it the “high road,” “the road less traveled,” “the growth path,” or something else.   The label hardly matters.  We all face this dilemma every time we make a decision: will we act based on courage or will we act based on fear.  The bigger the decision, the greater the temptation to succumb to fear.  People who experience external success and internal fulfillment make more courageous choices than those who don’t.

The Key Blocker: Fear of success.

I used to think that people fear failure more than success.  I now see it the other way around.  I believe that people – as the poet Marianne Williamson says – fear their light more than their darkness.  Whether failure looks like financial struggle, relationship disappointment, or career trouble, I see many people accepting of those results.  I see far fewer people who simply believe that they deserve to be successful and fulfilled.  Clearly success is not easy, and a positive mental attitude alone won’t lead to results.  Yet I’ve come to firmly believe that most people don’t see themselves as worthy of success, so they allow their Adversities to trap them.

In summary, the fourth stage of constructively facing Adversity is ACT.  This stage includes a key question, a key choice, and a key blocker.  In this stage the key is to take focused and constructive action in order to overcome the Adversity.

The next article looks at common challenges that people encounter when facing Adversity.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development. The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two). I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships. My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

Key to my philosophy of Adversity is the interplay between two key domains of a person: the internal (thoughts, feelings, and beliefs) and external (behaviors, actions, and results). The “soft” and “hard” sides of an individual. Up until this point, I’ve mainly focused on the internal domain, the soft side. Now, I will shift squarely to the external domain, the hard side. This is where the proverbial “rubber meets the road.”

All of the work that an individual experiences on this journey has importance. PAUSE is an essential stage for seeing actually seeing the Adversity. REFLECT is a key stage for making meaning of the Adversity. Allowing for INSIGHT is a necessary stage for developing an ability to work through the Adversity. And now ACT is a crucial stage for putting all that’s been discovered into motion. This is the stage of movement.

We all must act if we want to see a different result. While acting without understanding is unadvisable, failing to act at some point is just as unfortunate. Many of us know what’s going on and what to do, yet we struggle to actually put one foot in front of the other. That’s because doing something is risky. There’s no way around it. Thoughts are internal; we can always reinterpret, revise, or bury them. Behaviors are external; we can’t erase what we do. And when it comes to Adversity, many of the acts that we resolve to do are high stakes. For example, some people realize that their business is failing. Overcoming this Adversity requires the guts to choose a path that must save the company. The wrong move has serious consequences. On a personal level, some people face overwhelming Adversities related to financial challenges. An inability to take action may lead to disaster. What we do matters and the stakes are often quite high.

So, how do we find the courage and resolve to take action in the face of fear? This is principal question concerning the ACT stage of the process. We’re past seeing, understanding, and learning. We need to drive new results.

One particular author comes to mind on this topic. Larry Wilson authored a fantastic book in the late 1990s called Play To Win!. In it he brilliantly describes all of the key issues related to winning. Wilson doesn’t see winning as a cut-throat, domineering drive. Rather, he sees winning as choice to embrace courage rather than fear. Playing to win is a decision to consciously go as far as you can with all that you’ve got. Playing not to lose is a decision to stay safe and avoid risk, while succumbing to fear and inaction.

Wilson summarizes his message by detailing set of play-to-win responses to growth situations. These six responses fit perfectly with the idea of responding to Adversity. They are:

1. I will base my truth on objective reality. (I will see things as clearly as I can.)

2. I will make choices rationally. (I will not allow ego-driven impulses to highjack my process.)

3. I will give it my personal best. (I will commit to excellence.)

4. I will get out of my comfort zone. (I will not repeat old patterns automatically.)

5. I cannot fail, I can only learn and grow. (I will not be paralyzed by risk.)

6. I will take accountability for how I respond. (I will accept the results that come from my choice.)

This work by Wilson helps remind us that we play the pivotal role in determining the results of our situation, not external forces. Difficult things happen to us all the time – economic recessions, business failures, and disease and death. Yet how these things impact us is up to us. We can let them ruin us or we can let them teach and empower us.

For example, I work with many people in the financial services business. One of my clients recently endured a difficult personal Adversity. An extended family member of his became gravely ill and died with little financial planning in place. He was emotionally devastated and took on many new responsibilities as a result of the situation. Between the sadness and new financial burden, he almost failed in his business. He felt stuck in grief and confusion. He struggled to act on what he knew he needed to do. As soon as he committed to ACT, he resolved to use his experience for good. He shared his personal story with prospects and clients. He chose to move forward with courage and passion.

While the whole process of coping with Adversity requires some amount of courage, this stage requires the most. It is where we put into practice what we learn about ourselves and the world. It is where we stand up to be counted. It is where we draw a line in the sand.

I’d like to make one final point about this stage of Adversity. Back to the idea of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, answering the call takes us on a path toward significant change and personal transformation. Guides help us make meaning of our ordeals. The road of trials test our courage, will, and perseverance. These trials also teach us profound lessons. This stage, ACT, is where we share our gifts with the world. The experience of facing Adversity showers us with gifts in direct and indirect. We become better people as a result of all this hard work. The world, in turn, needs these gifts in order to become a better place. When you act, you renew and improve the world.

The next issue will focus on practical tools related to these action.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

My last article discussed addressed deep learnings, and how these deep learnings often reveal a sense of purpose.  Many individuals encounter painful, difficult, or merely nagging Adversities, only to discover that their true life’s meaning is delivered through the experience. Some Adversities lead us to short-term learnings; some Adversities lead us to life-altering discoveries.

In this article, I’d like to provide some basic approaches to identifying these purpose-oriented deep learnings.  And remember, not every learning is meant to be deep and purposeful.

Just as I did in the previous article, I’m going to take a break from the established format that I’ve used.  This piece will not include a Key Question, a Key Choice, or a Key Blocker.

Here is the format:

Deep Learning questions to ask yourself (did my Adversity help reveal my purpose?):

1. Did this Adversity strike me emotionally (mad, glad, sad, afraid, hurt)?

2. When overcoming this Adversity, did I feel fully alive and engaged in what I was doing?

3. Did my response to this Adversity get other people’s attention (did it start a buzz)?

4. Did I feel a newfound sense of confidence or courage as a result of overcoming this Adversity?

If you answered yes to zero of the four questions, then you did not experience a deep learning.  If you answered yes to one of the four questions, then you likely experienced a meaningful learning, but probably not a deep one.  If you answered yes to two of the four questions, then you likely experienced a deep learning with a suggestion of purpose.  If you answered yes to three of the four questions, then you definitely experienced a deep learning with a strong focus on purpose.  If you answered yes to four of the four question, then you nailed it.  You found your purpose.

If you answered yes to none or one of the above questions, then there’s no need to worried or feel upset.  It’s just not your time to experience this type of learning.  It will come if you maintain an intention to discover it.

If you answered yes to two, three, and (especially) four of the above questions, then it’s up to you as to when you’re ready, willing, and able to share your gifts with the world.  The world needs your talents, abilities, and purposeful leadership.  The best thing to do when discovering your purpose is to journal about it.  You need to document your thinking.  It’s amazing how easy it is to lose clarity over time.

In summary, some learnings are practical and others are deeper.  Some Adversities strike deep and reveal our true purpose in the world.  Though the experience may have happened years ago, you may only now discover its actual meaning.  If and when you do, write it down and consider how to share it with the world.  The world needs your leadership.

The next article looks at the taking action.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

At this point I’d like to take a break from the format that I’ve used throughout this series.  So far, I have introduced a series of concepts and ideas that fit into a framework.  The stages that I’ve laid out so far are: Adversity Curve is Pause, Reflect, and Insight.  These steps help us 1) slow down long enough to face an Adversity, 2) come to an understanding about the meaning of an Adversity, and 3) arrive at a key learning that helps overcome an Adversity.  In this article I’d like to drill down deep into the Insight (key learning) stage.

I consider no learnings wrong or unhelpful.  Yet some learnings are more powerful and impactful than others.  Some learnings transform and renew us, and Adversity is often the context in which these deep learnings take place.

Many people acquire a helpful skill as a result of facing an Adversity.  These people may not know how to manage others, so they develop the ability to do so.  Or they may not know how to prospect for new business, so they put in the effort to figure it out.  Or they may not know how to read a financial statement, so they study the appropriate materials to close this knowledge gap.  These are all worthy and honorable learnings.

And… some learnings transcend a short-term Adversity.  They are learnings that cut deeper and impact life more broadly than the above examples.  These learnings often reveal a person’s purpose.  I say “reveal” because of how I look at purpose: I think it’s always there, yet it often doesn’t have the proper language or context in order to emerge.  Adversity sometimes provides the right amount of context and language.

Purpose can be a tricky topic to address.  It’s not something that we can force or will into existence, but when it grips us it changes everything.  It’s simultaneously a powerful and subtle force.  We can’t see it or smell it, but we sure can feel it when it’s in the room.

The connection between Adversity and purpose may seem obvious on the surface.  We’ve all seen stories about people who have committed their lives to a cause after experiencing tragedy.  M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) was founded by a California mother whose daughter was killed by a drunk driver.  Alcoholics Anonymous was chiefly founded and popularized by Bill Wilson, a recovering alcoholic.  A past client of mine established a fund-raising golf tournament in honor of his brother who was killed in the World Trade Center towers on September 11, 2001.  Wonderful things often spring from painful, senseless tragedies.

While these are dramatic examples, each of us is capable of finding purpose through what we do, especially in the face of the Adversities that we face on a regular basis.  In fact, many people report that they experienced a meaningful insight while going through something difficult, only to see its true meaning years later.

And purpose is important to our work, even for those of us who are simply trying to do a good job or get ahead.  In the book Drive, Daniel Pink helps make sense of some extremely powerful research conducted on motivation theory.  Pink organizes the findings on motivation  into three camps: Motivation 1.0: pure biological drives, such as food, shelter, safety, etc.; Motivation 2.0: rewards and punishments, often called the carrot-or-stick approach; and Motivation 3.0: a trio of purpose, mastery, and autonomy.  The book’s main thesis is that outside of pure physical labor, Motivation 2.0 doesn’t work.  As soon as any independent thought or creative ability comes into play, Motivation 3.0 is the set of factors that produces results.  The problem that he raises, however, is that the vast majority of companies use Motivation 2.0 as their principal approach to generating productive employees.  So, while people may perform enough to hit a number or satisfy a minimum requirement, they don’t tap into their limitless potential.

Adversity can be the crucible in which purpose is clarified.  People often define who they are and what they stand for when times are tough.  As you allow for Insights to emerge during your process, consider the concept of purpose.  Was your purpose revealed through any Adversity that you faced?

I’d like to make one final point about this stage of Adversity.  Back to the idea of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, answering the call takes us on a path toward significant change and personal transformation.  And guides help us make meaning of our ordeals.  The road of trials tests us in difficult ways.  It’s often during these tests when we discover what gift we want to share with the world.  These ordeals and tests make us better people, often in ways that serve the world.

The next issue will focus on practical tools related to deep learnings and purpose.

–David

The Adversity Curve is my attempt to help individuals make use of one of the key aspects of learning and development.  The Center for Creative Leadership published a report a number of years ago defining Hardships as being one of three key aspects related to how leaders grow (Significant Relationships and Assignments being the other two).  I prefer to use the term Adversity rather than Hardships.  My desire is to put context and framework around how handling Adversity constructively can powerfully contribute to a person’s ability to improve.

My last article discussed key points related to the bridge between the internal and external domain of individuals.  After we pause long enough to face Adversity, and then make meaning of it, we’re ready to determine what’s needed for moving forward.  We very likely may find that we don’t have what we need to face our Adversity.  This is not bad news.  This is actually typical of our natural state.  Throughout our lives we are called upon to develop skills and abilities that we don’t have in order to overcome challenges that the world presents us.  Practicing Adaptive Confidence (Robert Quinn) and taking on a Growth Mindset (Carol Dweck) allow us to make helpful choices.  Finally, in the context of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, when we do these things because we are on the road of trials.  The road of trials presents us with significant obstacles that humble us, teach us, and (often) launch us toward a better future.

In this article, I’d like to provide some basic, accessible tools for managing this part of the process.  This stage – which I call INSIGHT – is the stage where a person identifies the skill or ability that’s needed for facing the Adversity.  I often call this stage “allow for INSIGHT” as it’s not something that a person can force into happening.  The fact that a person can’t force an insight into existence makes this stage, in many respects, the most ambiguous and unpredictable.  However, this stage can’t be skipped.

In each stage, a person must contend with three things: a Key Question, a Key Choice, and a Key Blocker.

The Key Question: What new skill or ability to do I need to develop or put into motion?

Back to the last article for a moment, many people feel embarrassed or ashamed when they don’t have the skills to take on a challenge or Adversity.  They may simply not have the proper training, education, or life experience to know what to do in a given moment, and they often feel miserable.  They often then go through elaborate and complex efforts to conceal or distort this reality.  How about they just acknowledge and address it?  It certainly takes humility to admit what you don’t know, but it’s far less effort and anguish to simply accept this fact and deal with it.  Alternatively, you may have the skill but be reluctant to use it.  This is often the case with conflict or some other anxiety provoking situation.  In this case, you simply need to do what’s necessary.  The answer to this question should be a short list of two to three skills or abilities that facing the Adversity requires.

The Key Choice: I will either persevere or I will give up.

Sometimes things in life just come down to “stick-to-itiveness.”  The factors that go into this attribute are many, but there’s no substitute for perseverance.  This stage of the Adversity Curve is often the most confusing and frightening because you are forced to deal with a situation for which you don’t have the skills.  This is indeed scary.  Yet you are capable of learning, growing, and developing you entire life.  You can and will figure out what you need or find the courage to use it if you allow enough tolerance for the uncertainty and time for the process to unfold.  You can call this “gut-check” time.

The Key Blocker: Lack of belief in self.

Back again to the last article, Quinn and Dweck talk about some of the critical aspects of learning in real time.  Both of these aspects – practicing Adaptive Confidence and having a Growth Mindset – require self-confidence.  Sometimes you need to believe in yourself when no one else around does.  Self-confidence can’t be faked or learned in a classroom.  It’s energetic and experience-based.  You may lose it over time, but you can always regain it.  It may just be the single most important element for success.  It’s the foundation on which everything rests.  It must be solid.

In summary, the third stage of constructively facing Adversity is Insight.  This stage includes a key question, a key choice, and a key blocker.  In this stage the key is to decide what is needed on a skill and ability level in order to overcome the Adversity.  What does a person need to develop or put into motion?

The next article looks at the deep learning during Adversity.

–David